What to do With the Lurker Friends Who Never Like Your Posts

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social media lurker friends that don't like your posts

Social media likes are so ingrained in today’s world that they have lost their meaning as simple likes. The thumbs-ups have become powerful statements of love, support, friendship, and validation.

But, some people are simply unwilling to like our social posts.

What makes them resist double-tapping on your latest posts and become lurkers who simply scroll past them?

There isn’t a simple answer to this question, but in this blog post, we will highlight the most common reasons why users decide not to engage with the content you post.

Let’s start with the basics of this discussion. 

What users qualify as social media lurkers?

Let’s start with the basics of this discussion.

What users qualify as social media lurkers?

Social media lurkers are users who scroll over the content on platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, and TikTok without interacting with it, such as liking, commenting, or sharing it.

These users rarely engage with anyone’s content including the content that belongs to their real-life friends. In most cases, they just consume information and scroll through their feeds, resisting the need to tap the like button.

The majority of social media users are lurkers (statistics included)

The statistics reveal that most social media users are lurkers, or passive users. An older study made in 2006 shows that 90% of the users are social media lurkers, 9% contribute a little and only 1% can be classified as active participants. While the number of internet users has increased dramatically over the years and people have most certainly become more active than before, there is still a considerable number of users not engaging with people’s posts.

According to the Pew Research Center study on adult Twitter users conducted in 2022, 48 percent of the respondents are lurkers, meaning they have posted an average of fewer than five tweets per month since they first opened their account, and they prefer to listen to other people’s opinions than voice their own.

Although these numbers may relieve your pain about missing a like from your friends, it’s still a good idea to know why they don’t interact with your photos, videos, Instagram stories, reels, and statuses.

Here is another interesting statistic about social media engagement rates.


The current engagement rate by reach on Instagram is 3.35%, while on Facebook is just 1.40%.

Source: SocialInsider 2021 – 2022

Although these numbers may relieve your pain about missing a like from your friends, it’s still a good idea to know why they don’t interact with your photos, videos, Instagram stories, reels, and statuses.

Here are the top reasons why friends lurk on social media and at the same time don’t like your social media posts.

8 reasons why friends lurk on social media and don’t like your posts

Having an active community of supporters on your social channels is a blessing since is a major factor that can help you skyrocket your account. However, some users simply don’t interact with the posts we create.

In case you’re trying to boost your posts or are curious to find out why the majority of people don’t tap the like button while looking at your social media profiles here are several factors to consider.

1. They are scared to be seen

Some users prefer to keep their preferences and likes private. Even though social media platforms have somewhat forced us to live a public and documented lifestyle, the vast majority want to keep their private lives private, including their social media activities.

Although platforms like Instagram have implemented a feature that lets users hide how many likes they have received, the profiles who tap the like button remain visible to everyone else.

Many users feel uncomfortable with their likes being public, so they decide to simply not interact with any post.

2. They don’t use social media as much as you do

Although we are used to seeing people regularly posting on their social media accounts, a large number of people have not yet caught the social media fever. They probably consider social media toxic.

Many users are satisfied with a quick scroll to stay on top of the latest trends and happenings in their social media friends’ lives. As they are not active users, they probably do not feel compelled to “pay you respect” by linking your posts, nor are they aware of the new level of meaning attached to the “likes”.

These people are probably still your friends, however, they probably don’t view likes the same way you do.

3. You don’t like their posts

Many social media users still practice the unwritten rule of “like for like”.

So, if you are wondering why a particular someone hasn’t liked your posts, check their social media channels and see when was the last time you commented on or liked some of their posts. 

Some users may consider you as a part of their community of lurkers, hence don’t like your posts in return. 

4. They don’t want to make the wrong impression

Likes have taken on new significance as we previously discussed. A like on social media can mean “I like you”, “I think you look beautiful”, “I am interested in you” and so on.

The fact that we attach so many meanings to likes is one of the reasons why some users are simply afraid of liking your posts. In some users, the feeling of social fear is so prevalent that they rather not like your posts than be misunderstood.

5. You post way too much

Having too many posts can become tedious, as people can easily lose interest and get tired of constantly liking them.

Some of them even your real-life friends might start feeling like intruders and would not like to be portrayed in the wrong light. Probably they have other things to do than social media.

6. They don’t know you

If your account counts a few thousand followers (because back in the day you accepted every friend request ), probably most of them are complete strangers you have never had a conversation with or friends of your friends or acquaintances.

Some take liking posts considerably more personally; they may follow you, but they are more selective about who they interact with. Meaning that even though they follow you they only like the social media posts of their closest friends and family.

7. They simply don’t like your content

Although it may sound harsh, some people do not enjoy your content.

Then again, you cannot be the perfect match for everybody, as many people tend to be picky with the content they like. Focus on having fun rather than obsessing over likes when creating content. 

Over time, you’ll learn your followers’ preferences, find your niche, and create content that appeals to most of them.

8. Your content is not relevant

This one goes for the people who try to have an authoritative online presence.

If you post content that no one cares about you will probably end up with high reach but low engagement.

Relevant and relatable content is crucial when it comes to developing a successful Facebook, TikTok, or Instagram profile. Users want to see content that speaks to them and is in alignment with their interests and likes.

Furthermore, not all online communities are the same; some of them prefer seeing pictures with motivational quotes, and others like nature more. Nevertheless, keep in mind that you need a well-crafted content strategy for each, to be able to receive results.

How to deal with your friends lurking on social media sites

We always get likes from real friends, right?

Well, in some instances some people just skip over their friends’ posts and decide not to tap the like button

So, what should you do?

Ignoring likes and not giving too much meaning to them is the easiest thing to do. Although there could be a hidden motive behind your friends’ ignoring your posts, it’s best not to stress about it.

Even when you share nice pictures and post often, not everyone will like you.

However, if you are determined to find out why someone doesn’t like your posts you can spend time talking to them and find out the real reason.

Another way to cope with disappointment is to stop viewing likes as sources of happiness. By using likes, social media algorithms can figure out what users like and serve relevant content. In no way do they prove friendships or your value as a person.

Is lurking a bad thing?

The answer depends on which end of the argument you are on, but generally, lurking doesn’t hurt as long as it’s not done obsessively. 

In the context of business and algorithms, “no-interaction” followers are considered to be somewhat harmful. Comments and likes provide businesses with more exposure and a benchmark for what their target audience is interested in.

On another note, a private account is not as susceptible to lurking as a public account. Since their goal is not to go viral, private users do not need likes and comments as badly. Lurking may be considered a bad thing for private account owners simply because they expect certain people to like their posts.

Final thoughts

Not getting a like from your best friend can hurt our feelings and sometimes even make us doubt the true nature of our friendship, but in reality, likes mean little to most users.

Therefore, if you find yourself worrying about likes, remind yourself that not everyone takes social media seriously and some people simply just scroll.

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